


Screw You

by personafreak



Category: Zombieland (2009)
Genre: Anal, Dirty Talk, Fingering, M/M, Oral, somehow columbus became tallahassee's personal cock loving deviant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:54:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11061333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personafreak/pseuds/personafreak
Summary: Oneshot pwp between my twinkie loving dildo and his favorite spitfuck. First person view of Columbus'.





	Screw You

"'m headin' to bed, pipsqueaks," emitted a low, gruff voice. Boots shuffled in sand as he stood up, then crunched under his feet as he walked back toward the tent.

Tallahassee usually initiated these things. Of course, he could've just been honestly going to bed, like he said he was. I glanced around the fire pit, watching Little Rock boredly trace a stick into the sand, Wichita nursing a gun and watching her, boredly joining her sketch with one of her own from the gun's nozzle. I sat up off the makeshift support I'd been leaning on, feeling some sand spill from my clothes. "Me too." I kept my voice as level as I could as I raised to my feet, meticulously brushing the sand from my clothes, looking up from my clothes to the girls. "You guys'll be okay on first watch?"

They made a sound like a snort, simultaneously, as if to say, _Of course, idiot_.

I headed away from the beach and further ways down the trail, where our camping spot rested. We'd made it further down along the west coast, heading down toward Mexico in hopes of... something _else_.

I knew we'd already found what we were looking for. No matter where we went, if we had each other, we'd be fine. Something corny like that.

We'd snagged three tents from some vacant Big 5, but Wichita and Little Rock ended up taking the latter two. It was a big tent between Tallahassee and I, so space wasn't too much of an issue. Especially when we were fine with _no_ space between us.

He was already asleep, books shucked outside the tent, and when I unzipped the entrance he was lying on his back, hands cushioning behind his head, flexing his biceps and forearms above him as he lounged. His eyes were closed, from what I could see in the darkness, one knee pointing toward the sky, the other straight and jutting out toward me. I carefully stepped over his leg and zipped the entrance down behind me, taking up the little space beside him. I missed carpet and soft beds and warm blankets, and showering after a long day of video games and mountain dew, and throwing on comfortable pajamas.

I looked over at the other man, built and fierce, but dormant in his sleep. A few rustles later and I was on top of my sleeping bag in my plain shirt and overworn boxers, laying on my side, facing him. I used to be afraid to approach him, much less wake him from sleep. Reluctance gone, I fidgeted for a small while, waiting for him to rouse from sleep on his own. When that didn't work, my fingers spanned over the hills of his toned pectorals, spreading downward.

"Mngh." Tallahassee twitched to life at the touch, scaring the shit out of me and making me jump. "Jesus!" I whimpered, and his expression softened, shifting onto one arm, lying sideways and facing me in return. We shared a long look, my finger dipping into his navel through his shirt. His eyes flickered from mine to my body, a predatory look about him. My hand dipped lower, feeling through his shirt just how much power he held in his abdomen alone. He wasn't acting yet, though, just watching, and that intense gaze directed on me had my cheeks filling quickly with color.

"... _'lumbus,"_ his voice was making me hard, just his goddamn voice and I was remembering everything between us, every night that we'd used each other to forget pain and remember pleasure, every time he held me and looked at me with those eyes that held much more warmth than he was willing to admit.

His hand was passing over the side of my face and through my hair, how I liked it. It's like I made him in _Sims_ or something. He was guiding my face closer and I pressed further into him, squeezing him through his jeans as our lips brushed. He was more firm with his kiss, the type that would accept nothing less than complete submission. I didn't fight it, feeling my head being guided back over the tent floor as I was kissed against it, his warmth rolling on top of me, his weight pressing into my hand as I groped him slow and steady, feeling the outline of him hardening through the coarse material of his pants. Soon his tongue was rolling against mine, and my fingers were plucking open his button and zipper, reaching beneath his underwear, needily tugging his dick closer to me. His other hand slipped over my shirt, thumbing a nipple because he knew how much I loved it. His warmth spread down my waist and around my hip, his fingers lazily squeezing an ass cheek and pressing me up into him, until we were pretty much humping each other.

"Don- -'t," I gasped, feeling a tug on my lower lip from his teeth, slow, long grinds against my cock making me flustered. "I'm already... _haah_... gonna blow..."

His thumb dipped below my boxers, tucking them down until I could feel my bare tip grinding against his. My ass clenched instinctively, wanting him inside without even meaning to. His fingers passed over to my front, and now the two of us were simultaneously jerking each other off, palms slick with our need. His hand was much larger than what I was used to, feeling it encompass my dick within a single, short stroke, which was to say the complete opposite of his situation, where my fingers could barely wrap around him and I had to try very _hard_ to get him riled up.

"How's back here?" Tallahassee needed only to look at me and I was practically unraveling at the sight, losing it to the feeling of his hand teasing my cock, the other spreading my ass cheek as he probed my ass. I came onto his abdomen, shuddering and loosening as his finger approached my entrance, swirling just before the tight ring before pushing the tip in. I whined from the mugginess of orgasm that came over me, from the uncomfortable feeling of a dry finger trying to stretch me out. He sighed, mumbling curtly. "Get down here."

Tallahassee was sitting up, guiding my face into his lap. His exploring fingers left me, and with a glance upward he'd sucked them into his own mouth, covering them with a good amount of spit, before easily reaching my ass. His other hand gathered my chin and directed me closer to his shirt, wordlessly telling me to clean it off. I'd never liked the taste of myself, but his wet fingers inside me were more than convincing enough. i hungrily sucked wet spots onto his shirt until it was devoid of me, obediently waiting until he pulled his cock out of my pants and fed it straight between my lips.

All it took was his fingers combing through my hair and I was eagerly accepting him, eyes closed and mouth sealed around him, leaving wet streaks for as far as I could fit him in. He was wide but I'd learned to accommodate it; not just when sucking him, but when getting the full experience of him inside my ass. His fingers were thick and rough like the rest of them, but they always were gentle when opening me up. His fingers curled and rubbed me from the inside, coaxing more blood to rush straight to my cock, hardening it within minutes. He never had a problem getting hard either, rock solid between the insides of my cheeks as I hollowed them around him. His head lolled back as I took him in deeper, and his grunts were increasing in number and volume.

" _Good_." He pulled my head off by the back of my hair, and then guided me over again in one fluid swoop, hitting the back of my throat. I let him fuck my face, taking the time to stick out my tongue and flatten it whenever he wanted to slap his cock against it, swirling the tip of the wet organ with my tongue until he was pressing toward the back of my throat again. Something about getting fingered while sucking cock drove me crazy, and Tallahassee was more than willing to take advantage of it.

I gagged on his large size for the umpteenth time, feeling finality in the last time he withdrew. My ass was spread with three fingers now, and from the little experience we shared in this, we both knew I was ready. He guided me by my shoulder and hip, redirecting me around until I was on my knees, ass presented in front of him. He shoved my shoulders to the floor until my chest was pressing into the tent, hefting my hips up until my ass was level with his cock.

"Ya think... we woulda done this back then? If we knew each other?"

He asked such an unfair question as he started pressing in, making me think about his question when such little thought was directed toward anything other than his thick girth stretching me. I choked on a moan, holding onto his previously discarded leather jacket just for the sake of something to hold onto. It smelled like him, and soon enough I was reaching beneath me to start palming myself to his scent, and his cock in me, and everything _about_ this silly Floridian.

"N... Nah." I managed to choke out, pressing back onto his cock slow when he stopped moving, feeling the arch of my back deepen.

"No?" He thrust into me hard, and I said something indistinguishable, so he did it again until I was buckling underneath him. "Too good for me back then? See, I don't think that's the case."

I thought about me back then, how little I tried to interact with anyone, family included. I thought about him, and all he had to lose. It made me tighten around him further, and he was cursing up a storm, all the while holding apart my ass cheeks just to fuck deeper inside me. After the steady pulses of pressure, I managed to moan out a few semblance of words. "I would've been... ho... holed up in my dorm all day." Realizing I didn't want to cum from touching myself, I rooted my hands into his jacket and simply rode back onto his cock, face tipped upward as the pleasure took over my expression. Thank god I was turned away from him, he would've been able to see everything.

He was smirking, I could hear it in his voice. "No door could keep the likes'a _me_ out." He used my hips as leverage, pounding into me with formidable slapping sounds. I'd definitely have a hard time walking tomorrow, but _god_ was every thrust of his worth it.

"You wouldn't want me," I gulped, shaking my head of curly hair, pressing one heated cheek into the ground, the other face up for him. "All I did was campaign and drink mountain dew. And stress about the homework I was putting off." _Good ol' days_.

"Could've easily done all that on my dick," Tallahassee encouraged, his nuts slapping heavily against mine, adding to the sound. I groaned long and deep into the leather, feeling him repetitively pound into my weak spot. I tightened my fingers in the smooth material, mumbling quick and soft, "I'm cumming, I'm _cumming_ , cumming," Until all I could feel was my ass squeezing down on him, and the stickiness between my legs, and the feeling of my own cum dripping up my chest.

When Tallahassee came, he was subtle about it, insomuch that the first few times had caught me off guard. Much unlike what I'd expected, some loud, earth shaking moans and crippling thrusts, he actually slowed and quietly huffed, hips rolling to the rhythm of each surge of his cock. He slipped out just in time to cum over my back, and I could feel the pulse of his length over my crack as he dribbled over it, his breathing shallow and strained. I watched him, eyes heavy lidded, and he was looking at me in return, his neck red up to the tips of his ears. He leaned over, still inside me, and kissed over my nape, spreading over the material of my shirt to get my shoulder, too. Tallahassee was always honest and tender like this. So why couldn't I be?

"I still don't think we'd do this before things got desperate, though," I told him, earning a grunt of assent against my lips as we kissed, lazily basking in each other. With all my rules, I realized faintly that this was when we were most vulnerable. Nothing could take us away from this moment, not screams of people being eaten alive, not some deranged, black oozed dripping monster headed our way. I don't think anything could scare me from this.

"Settin' me up for _failure_ , Columbus. 'm trying to be _romantic."_ He rolled off of me and to the side, kissing my ticklish spots. I laughed quietly in the space between us, letting him guide his arms around me so I could just sink into him.

"... But I can't imagine you bein' even _more_ of a lil' bitch than ya are now."

I boldly looked him in the eye, a dangerous feat against any primate. He'd probably kill me if he heard that. _"Screw you_."

"Screw ya next Monday," he easily breathed, sweeping me up in all of him.


End file.
